If you are in a long-term relationship, please ask yourself: "Why am I in this relationship?". If the answer is anything other than, "because I want to be with my partner/spouse", it might be time to make changes.
If your answer sounds like any of these - "because of my kids", "because he/she needs me", "because my parents arranged this", "because I am afraid to be alone" etc.- it is time to make changes.
By 'changes', I do not mean ending the relationship, though that option might be necessary for some of us. I mean working on yourself to see if you can change your answer to- "because I want to be with ...... (name of your partner)"
How do you work on yourself? I believe one needs to introspect, self-reflect, understand the reasons behind one's motivation/ fears etc. One way is to find a therapist who you can trust and who would help you through this process. Ideally, both you and your partner would engage in this work, thus benefiting your relationship. If your partner is not ready, I believe that individual work would still be useful to both you and your relationship.
Sujata V, Ph.D, MFT
Always Learning..through the good AND not-so-good times!